Hello to all! I hope the first day of this new month finds you all well.
I've not been doing too badly of late, but I'm floundering a little when it comes to the bloggy world. I seem to have lost the drive and enthusiasm right now, and I'm not entirely sure how to get it back.
Friday will be the third anniversary of this here blog of mine, and I was determined not to let it just fly by like last year. But here I am again, not really venturing out into the world and the date is upon me once again. Where does all the time go?
I've grown rather despondent, and not just in regards to my blog, but lots of other life stuff too.
I've tried not to mention too much about it, but when I had my baby daughter at the beginning of June my life was turned up on its end, and in more ways than usual with a new baby.
She was born with a serious defect that could have claimed her life at the time, had it not been for a wonderful consultant at our hospital who saved her for us.
She is thriving now and, despite continued hospital visits and one more scheduled operation, she is in no danger. However, the whole experience has left me feeling very strange.
At times of crisis, your body just takes over and you get through it because that's what you need to do, but now the dust has settled, all the emotions are creeping up on me. I feel very spaced out a lot of the time if I'm honest. I've felt like this isn't really my life at all, and I'm just going through the motions of what needs to be done every day.
I feel so flat all of the time, writing and blogging are the last things on my mind, and I'm teetering on the edge of giving up on it. It's things like this hop that have kept me hanging on by my fingertips, but I'm struggling to get back into the same groove that I've been in before.
Self-doubt and low self-esteem are the dominant forces at work in my mind right now, and some words of advice and encouragement would be hugely welcome. Tell me I'm not the only one who's been caught in this pit of seeming despair ...
Love and hugs xxx
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For more information on the amazing entity that is the Insecure Writers Support Group, click on the link and head over. Here you will find everyone else participating and it's well worth a browse to see what everyone's insecurities are. Trust me, you're not alone, there are plenty of us on the same wavelength.
Happy IWSG Day!
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I'm glad to hear your daughter is doing better. Sounds like you're still processing everything, which is totally normal. And you're not the only one feeling blah lately--my blog has been neglected as well! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lara. I know that I'm never really alone with all this stuff, and it's happening to plenty of others out there. Still, it's nice to have the words of encouragement to keep us going, isn't it?
DeleteI'm sorry, Heather!
ReplyDeleteCan I suggest finding someone to talk to and help you get through the emotions now that they are catching up to you? Counselor, pastor, someone.
Glad your baby is doing better and only has one more operation.
Thanks Alex. I do have a counselor that I've seen in the past, and I've been putting off making an appointment but I think it'll be a wise move. Thanks for the nudge, sometimes it's what we need.
DeleteSo glad your daughter is doing better. Don't rush yourself. You have been through a whirlwind and it will take time to get life back to "normal" Enjoy your baby and whatever else brings you joy. In the end, that is all the matters.
ReplyDeleteWonderful words Jennifer, and ones that I need to try and bear in mind. I always underestimate exactly how much time is required to sort through such major things, but I'm slowing down a bit now and taking baby steps from day to day.
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
Hello Heather, I felt a bit similar not so long ago so I totally understand. I am relieved to hear your daughter is doing better and am sending you so much love and hugs. My advice would be 4 things: 1) be gentle with yourself, it's ok to feel and be in this space. 2) Find someone to talk to that can help you get through it all. 3) write it all out. get is out of your system. Write a letter to yourself or God and just be as honest as you can be. No one has to read it and no one will judge you - no matter how bad it sounds. 4) take a blogging break. I just took a month off blogging and released that responsibility and 'have to' in my life. Now that I have just come back it feels like new. You are not giving up - just giving you some you time.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find your happy space again soon.
Chanzie @ Mean Who You Are.
Thank you so much for these kind words. I think a lot of the time I feel I need permission to take the time off, or give something a rest for a while.
DeleteI have been writing about it on and off, and it's helping me get through it gradually. I'm almost becoming more comfortable with how I'm feeling, and dealing with it each day a bit at a time. I know I'm still going to have hard days, but they'll get fewer and further between I'm sure.
So glad to hear your daughter is alright, it's horrible that you had to go through that. Don't try and force yourself to come back to blogging - that'll just make you more reluctant. Go slow - if you have a little spare time one day, do a tiny bit of writing. Then go from there.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice Laura. I have missed seeing everyone in the bloggy world, and now and again I'm popping back to see what you're all up to.
DeleteI'm a very impatient person, and I need to come to terms with the fact that my own healing is going to take some time.
So happy your little one is okay. It kind of puts everything in perspective.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly does Susan, I certainly feel that I've changed as a person, and I'm adjusting to my new perspectives.
DeleteI'm so glad your little one is okay and thriving now but I can only imagine how scary the summer must have been for you.
ReplyDeleteI can understand your feelings about blogging, I have been struggling with doing it as well. I feel like the spark has kind of gone out for me but I want to continue it because I have enjoyed it so much in the past and I cherish the people I've met. I hope to get back in a rhythm with it but sometimes life definitely gets in the way.
Take care and I hope you are feeling better soon. Whenever you do want to jump back in to blogging or writing we will all be here for you.
Thank you Julie, it's a huge boost knowing that you're all out there for support when needed. It's probably what I love the most about this community. I'm doing a little bit now and then, keeping my eye in as it were. I'm sure my momentum will gain its own strength at some point and I can get back to enjoying it again.
DeleteI'm so happy that your daughter is thriving. As Alex suggested, it might be good to talk to someone. Of course, just having a baby itself affects writing and life. You'll find your groove again, and we'll be here for you. :)
ReplyDelete