I'm struggling a little at the moment admitting to myself that I'm an actual writer. I take the time to sit and write stories, I've posted some of my pieces here on my blog and on the Shortbread Stories site, so in the literal sense of the word I am indeed a writer. However, I still find I am hiding this fact from many of my closest friends and relatives. My husband knows that I indulge now and again, and so I can hide away for an hour or so and don't have to feel guilty about doing something secretive. Only two other people know, that I actually see every day anyway, and fortunately one of these is also a writer. This is handy as we can sit and discuss our own projects and spur each other on. But apart from all you lovely followers, no-one else has any idea that I've been doing this.
It's like I'm carrying around a huge secret that I'll go to weird lengths to hide. For example, until recently I had two Facebook accounts, one in my maiden name and one in my writing/soon-to-be married name. My older account was for all my friends and I'd post the usual rubbish about everyday nonsense in status updates and messages. My writing one was then used to begin networking with fellow writers and follow groups and communities about writing. I also set up an automatic feed that posted all of my blog pages to this account so my 'friends' could see what I'm posting.
Now, my old account was hacked twice in about two weeks so I got fed up and deleted the account. By chance, one of my friends found my other account and sent a friend request. I have since started using this account for my old friends but felt the need to cancel the automatic feed of my blog posts. Part of me doesn't quite understand why; I am a writer, there is nothing wrong with having a hobby. Part of me though is a bit worried about what people may think about it. What if they laugh at my writing? What if they think I'm trying to be something that I'm not? I'm not sure if I'm slightly embarrassed at revealing all, like it's some dirty little secret.
I think some day soon I'm going to overcome this hurdle and put the feed back up. After all, it will increase my readership (maybe) as none of them follow me as yet. I just need to feel brave enough to do it.
Does anyone else hide their little secret? Is it liberating to get it out in the open?
Hopefully next month I'll have taken the plunge.