Basically, I think I'm trying to do too many things and something has to go. I just can't make the decision as to what.
I'm in a very positive place with regards to my writing, I'm making progress with it and I'm really enjoying it too.
I work full time, starting early in the morning so I can pick my daughter up from school and then looking after her when we get home. Then there's all the usual home stuff, cooking, cleaning, etc.
Finally, I'm studying with the Open University doing an English course. It's a distance learning institution and it's quite intense.
Trying to juggle all of these things is tricky for me most of the time and I very often get a little down as inevitably one thing or the other slips and I get behind in something.
For at least a year now I feel like I have been constantly tired and struggle every now and again with managing even the simple things. I'm having one of those lulls right now and I'm finally realising that actually it might just be the workload I have given for myself.
I honestly don't know if I really do have too many things that I'm trying to do or whether I'm just spending too much time worrying about it, and should just get on with it. Then there's the old thing about doing one thing well or many things just average.
It's really tough trying to decide what to do, I really want to do the study but I also want to continue building on my writing. What I don't want though is to make myself ill over it all, either with doing too much or with the worry.
The logical thing to go at this point in time would be the study. It would make my life a lot less stressful, I'd actually save myself money through not paying the costs and it's something that I can go back to and pick up again later if I want to.
Every time I get close to sending the email to withdraw though I begin to feel guilty about quitting and being a failure. But is it failure to realise your limits?
I do wonder if I'm making too much out of this and the decision is actually a straight forward one, but any fresh perspective that can be offered would be greatly appreciated.
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Welcome to life in the 21st century, right? I feel your pain. Nowadays and perhaps always, one has to work considerably hard and juggle many things all at once. Be encouraged! I do the same and get only 3-4 hours of rest throughout the day.
ReplyDeleteIf I push myself too hard, I get sick. I mean, really sick. I actually had a doctor tell me to quit school when I started my Masters. I didn't listen and ended up bed ridden and having to quit half way through, all the debt still in tow.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know where my suggestions come from, since everyone is different.
Sit down and make your pro and con list. I'm sure it's in your head, but there's just something about having it on paper that makes executing a decision easier. Take a good hard look at it. List out your priorities, making sure family time, house work, ect. are on there.
Then decide. All that work won't necessarily make the decision easier, but it might help you feel better about it in the end, no matter how you choose. If you do decide to put school off, then make a plan to get back in to it and when to help encourage you to get to that point.
Don't feel bad about it. This is honestly something everyone struggles with, even if the exact choices aren't the same. It isn't failure to set yourself up for success, and if trimming somethings out of your day means you can be more successful at what you really want to be doing right now, so be it.
Good luck, Heather. :)
REally, don't feel too bad about not being able to keep up with EVERYTHING. Remember, the class has a end date; the writing doesn't. Perhaps you need only let one go for a short season, alternating priorities. Kids and family are always there, but I've found we writers sometimes too strict a deadline on ourselves for full time writing.
ReplyDeleteIf writing is your full time job, remember people who work outside the home get to take vacations, weekends, sick days, partial days. Perhaps all you really need is some time off to recharge.
The class sounds like something both enjoyable, and instructional. You will be able to use what you learn in your writing, so maybe think of the class as "training". And training is an important part of the job of writing.
My superpower is to "authorize" things. Give me your blue slip, I'll authorize some vaca time for you :)
.......dhole