Basically, I think I'm trying to do too many things and something has to go. I just can't make the decision as to what.
I'm in a very positive place with regards to my writing, I'm making progress with it and I'm really enjoying it too.
I work full time, starting early in the morning so I can pick my daughter up from school and then looking after her when we get home. Then there's all the usual home stuff, cooking, cleaning, etc.
Finally, I'm studying with the Open University doing an English course. It's a distance learning institution and it's quite intense.
Trying to juggle all of these things is tricky for me most of the time and I very often get a little down as inevitably one thing or the other slips and I get behind in something.
For at least a year now I feel like I have been constantly tired and struggle every now and again with managing even the simple things. I'm having one of those lulls right now and I'm finally realising that actually it might just be the workload I have given for myself.
I honestly don't know if I really do have too many things that I'm trying to do or whether I'm just spending too much time worrying about it, and should just get on with it. Then there's the old thing about doing one thing well or many things just average.
It's really tough trying to decide what to do, I really want to do the study but I also want to continue building on my writing. What I don't want though is to make myself ill over it all, either with doing too much or with the worry.
The logical thing to go at this point in time would be the study. It would make my life a lot less stressful, I'd actually save myself money through not paying the costs and it's something that I can go back to and pick up again later if I want to.
Every time I get close to sending the email to withdraw though I begin to feel guilty about quitting and being a failure. But is it failure to realise your limits?
I do wonder if I'm making too much out of this and the decision is actually a straight forward one, but any fresh perspective that can be offered would be greatly appreciated.
Photo courtesy of themeatshield.wordpress.com